a little off my chest
and the world is shifting around me. in a strange space, it seems. things are happening and not happening in configurations that i can’t sort out properly. i’ve been working non-stop for what feels like weeks and that tends to throw off my sense of time and linear proportion to an extent that, if i follow it through to the bloody bitter end, leaves me contemplating the apocalypse somewhere around the time of the big bang and all i can really do is sit back and wonder what the hell day it is.
work
school
work
volunteer
school
work
work
homework
work
school
so i’m going to top the week with 55 hours, which isn’t really a whole lot, especially considering how little work i actually have to do here. but the fact that i have to be here really kills my mood and my day and my plans. i just want to stop and take a deep breath but ive got pluritis of the lifestyle and i can’t catch a breath because every time i think i might be allowed to sit and relax, something reminds me that i’m still outrunning a terrible avalanche of projects, papers, readings, and classes.
projects to finish:
read the new york times from 9-11-2001 to 10-11-2001 and analyze the coverage of the world trade center attack in terms of balance, objectivity, sensationalism, context versus fact, and
OHMYFUCKINGCHRIST!
can someone else be sane? can someone keep their shit together with me? i swear i’m doing a fanfuckingtastic job of keeping a level head and i kind of want to melt into a spineless puddle of self defeat.
no time for words.
boss demoted. possibility of being fired.
girlfriend has lice. i will have lice.
have no money.
can’t catch up with schoolwork.
the world is moving on.
the end is imminent.
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