must. post. something.
okay, so now i sit in the laundromat waiting another 25 minutes for my clothes to wash. always wait until the last minute and i rather wish i didn’t. what i’m here to do is figure out what i need to be writing about. i can write papers. i can write them very well. i’d rather be writing about something else, though. i want to be writing stories and blog posts. i want another 7 second romance.
wait, was it 7?
8?
anyway, i feel the need to produce something, but i don’t really think i know what i could write at this point. my writing muscles are weak and i don’t have the motivation (courage? ability?) to actually sit down and write something. i could write an essay oznog style, but i don’t really know what oznog style is at this point or whether i’m even qualified to contribute. i also don’t really feel like extra-curricular essay writing on top of the essay writing i have to do for class. just not feeling it, i suppose.
so what does that leave?
can i write a story? i don’t feel like i can. i don’t think i have the creativity or the inspiration or the ability. it’s a damn shame. i feel like i’ve got great ideas and i’ve got some strong writing talent. i guess a big part of it is that i never feel all the required elements at the same time. or maybe i’m just lazy.
i think i probably just need to stick with daily blog writing in order to feel moved by forced productivity-inertia if nothing else.
one idea was to write a lengthy post every week. force myself to sit down and scribble whenever the feeling strikes me, editing and shaping throughout the week until, hopefully, at the end of it producing something coherent and intelligible.
possibly.
16 minutes left on the washers. then i’ve got to go back home while it’s in the dryer.
remember to keep my epic short stories in mind. they’re fading..
..future of now…
..mammonites vs mammonists..
..daddy weirdly and his dolls..
..remainder of circle..
4 minutes left and i’m listening to circus music
recently watched:
pineapple express
zack and miri make a porno
better off dead
say anything
the ruins
frost/nixon
blood and tears
the last shah
weirdsville
currently reading
fisk – the great war for civilization
the homeric hymns
bullfinch’s mythology
frankenstein
[and later]
faithful disclaimer:
of course, stoned again, of course
so i’ve been slacking in learning lately, or at least, my motivation and focused interest have been misplaced..
been listening to audio courses from the modern scholars series, mit, yale, but not reading school books, not doing my homework.. need to refocus my motivational forces and re-channel my willpower, if that makes any sense -
who can i read?
who is the person to turn to?
which speaker, writer, character, genre will get me into the appropriately inspired mindset?
crowley?
mckenna?
lawrence?
kurzweil?
thompson?
it seems all of my academic circuits have fizzled out, but i should probably not leave it at that. there is more to say. there’s been a lot of learning, a lot of research, if not exactly in the most traditional sense:
-tunisia
-the 20th century.. seriously, all of it.
-arab-israeli relations
-orientalism
-history of sci-fi
-frankenstein incarnations
and i guess that’s about it. not a bad start, just wish i could direct my focus onto the things i should be doing:
-reading homeric hymns
-writing homeric hymn paper
-writing orientalism paper
so those are the shoulds. there are also wants and more general tasks i’d like to accomplish
-edit timelines (talk to becca about this)
-finish reading frankenstein
-read fisk
-learn some basic greek myth
-learn some french and arabic
-plan our date for th 27th
every day for a month? again?
not sure..
remember to grab 5 artists from lastfm (thievery corp)
1. lost at last
2.
3.
4.
5.
and there were going to be more words, but they will have to wait..
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